Mor
32 | Bi | Polyam | Trans Enby
imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow
you have a beautiful imagination
this gave me chills
HOLY SHIT
first of all ^^^ I love this^^^
secondly, I’ve said it before, but
Here’s an Old World tree still surviving in a modern forrest of “large” trees
That’s just what trees used to be like.
And wandering among those trees, one might have encountered, yes, deer larger than a modern moose, but also, depending on what year, pigs bigger than grizzly bears, beavers the size of modern wolves, ground sloths the size of modern elephants, and bears nearly that big. Not to mention the insects and snakes and shit.
I could keep going, like, you might have crossed paths with a whole herd of these
or a family of these.
Like, 29,000 years ago, the last of the Neanderthal had just died out. Humans and this thing definitely lived at the same time.
And they didn’t live in the Forest, but there is one ice age creature that’s still alive, if you want to see what life was like back in the day. We used to think the Musk Ox was a type of bovine, or cow, which is how it got it’s name. BUT. See this?
that, my friends, is an ice age GOAT. That’s right, that’s a 900 pound GOAT. Here, take another look
anyway, yeah, the wild used to be a lot more Wild. Old Forest was definitely the inland equivalent of Ocean, and everything back in the day was turnt the fuck UP
when dev patel & andrew garfield inevitably star as lovers in a historical drama it's over for everyone
animorphs book 1: a group of teenagers are given the power to turn into animals to stop an alien invasion!
animorphs book 54: the seventeen year old leader of a guerilla fighting force deals with severe survivors guilt and ptsd, has to testify at a war crimes tribunal and is in turn called a war criminal, and is extremely alienated from human life because of the things he has seen
that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.
and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.
Gandalf: *spittake*
Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*
Gandalf: That’s, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?
Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW
Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]
Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.
Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.
Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-
Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?
Gandalf: No, no.
Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.
Elrond: *wordless sputtering*
Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]
Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter.
Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?
Elrond: No fucking shit.
Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know it’s nearly mating season. but we have a situation again
Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]
Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]
Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]
I mean, given that Tolkien retconned “The Hobbit” so Bilbo’s little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kid’s book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??
You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didn’t immediately raise the alarm about Bilbo’s ring out of an abundance of caution.
I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angel’s serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG “
pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifact”.
And then. AND THEN! One day he’s like, “hey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journey”. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming “nottheoneringnottheoneringnottheonering” while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one-
“It’s this plain gold ring that’s very precious to me and turns me invisible!”
AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CAN’T REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURON’S RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN
@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P
I’ve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D
Next you’ll be telling me Sting is Gurthang
Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgoth’s crown
Somewhere J.R.R. Tolkien is standing on a pier, looks up from his smartphone and over his shoulder at we who are left behind, a misty look in his eye. Starts walking toward an elven ship to make his way to the grey havens … throws his phone into the sea and the last words we hear from him, “About fucking time…”
People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is “You’re safe with me”—that’s intimacy.
- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
